he luva da pizza

Priestly was many things: a genius, a slacker, a man perpetually on the brink of an accidental disaster, but a morning person was not one of them. His workspace, a cluttered mess of cables, monitors, and half-finished projects, reflected his inner chaos. Each day, he shuffled through his lab like a ghost, barely alive until his third can of energy drink kicked in. The company had hired him for his unorthodox brilliance, the kind that danced dangerously close to madness. But for Priestly, the lab was just another trap, a purgatory where his creativity was confined to meaningless, regulated tasks.

Today was supposed to be like any other, a slog through a tedious shift monitoring the large, noisy console in front of him; he likened it to a bop-it for adults. Priestly’s job was to watch it, log anomalies, and occasionally press a button to recalibrate the system. In reality, it was an excuse for him to sleep at his desk, hidden behind a fortress of empty pizza boxes and energy drink cans. The interface, an undulating sphere of dark energy contained within a reinforced glass chamber, rarely did anything interesting.

But the company was paranoid. They had protocols, contingency plans, and layers of bureaucracy guarding the portal. "It could be a doorway to another dimension," they warned. "Or it could implode and take half the building with it." Priestly had heard it all before, and frankly, he didn’t care. As long as the portal stayed quiet, so could he. Sirius was only a means of a paycheque to the small scientist.

Halfway through the morning, the scientist's eyelids drooped. He kicked back in his chair, eyes drifting shut as the hum of machinery lulled him into a light doze. His gloved fingers hovered above his keyboard, twitching occasionally in sleep as if navigating his equally monotonous dreams. The portal pulsed softly in the background, a steady, rhythmic glow from within a vertical crack in seemingly mid-air that normally went unnoticed.

But today, something was different. A low, ominous rumble filled the lab, vibrating through the dusty floor of what was essentially a cavern deep underground, rattling the loose screws on Priestly’s workbench. He stirred, but barely,  one eye cracking open only for a moment. Nothing to worry about, he assumed. The portal’s glow had shifted from its usual dull grey to a swirling lilac mist that whipped around in strands. Priestly groaned, reaching blindly for his keyboard to check for the current readings, but as he reached for the controls, a sharp crack echoed through the lab, followed by the screech of tearing metal.

Priestly jolted upright, adrenaline snapping him fully awake. His heart pounded as he watched the reinforced glass around the portal spiderweb with fractures, the mist filling the bounds of its re-enforced containment. Before he could react, the glass shattered, and the rift surged outward, a swirling maelstrom of hazy purple and black energy that filled the room with a sickly dull light.

“Fan-fucking-tastic” Priestly groaned, sitting back in his chair and spinning to face the exit. He fumbled for the emergency exit switch by the heavy metal doors, but it was too late. The smoke from the rift had reseeded, forming a perfect doorway-sized rectangle, and from its depths, a figure emerged: tall, shadowy, and unmistakably demonic. The figure stepped through the breach, his form coalescing from the swirling darkness. His eyes, a molten gold, fixed on Priestly with an intensity that froze him in place.

Priestly’s mind raced; nothing in his entire career had prepared him for a moment like this. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The portal was theoretical, a curiosity, a cosmic question mark, not a damn doorway to Hell like his eccentric boss would claim. Yet here he was, face-to-face with what he assumed to be a demon, one who looked far too amused by the situation at that.

Valerian’s smile was a slow, creeping thing, full of sharp teeth and malicious intent. “Well, well,” he purred, his voice a deep rumble that reverberated through the lab. “What do we have here? A little scientist all alone, playing with forces he doesn’t understand.”

Priestly tried to speak, to explain, to do anything, but his voice caught in his throat. Valerian moved with the fluid grace of a predator, closing the distance between them in a heartbeat. One clawed hand reached out, seizing Priestly by the collar and hoisting him effortlessly off the ground. Priestly flailed, his feet dangling helplessly as the demon lifted him closer, inspecting him like a curious cat with a trapped mouse.

“You’re coming with me,” Valerian declared, his tone brooking no argument. Before Priestly could protest, the demon turned and stepped back into the rift, dragging Priestly through with him. The lab vanished in a rush of wind and light, replaced by the alien landscape of Hell.

The transition was disorienting—a nauseating whirl of colours and sounds that left Priestly’s head spinning. He landed hard on an unfamiliar surface; the breath knocked out of him as Valerian released his grip. Priestly gasped, struggling to right himself as he took in his surroundings. Hell was not the inferno of flames and suffering he’d been taught to expect. Instead, it was a sprawling expanse of jagged mountainous landscapes, dusty lilac skies, and an unsettling quietness.

Valerian watched him with bemused detachment, leaning casually against a pillar of twisted obsidian. “Welcome to Hell,” he said, gesturing grandly to the landscape around them. “Not quite what you were expecting, is it?”
The demon hummed with amusement, his thick Russian accent burying itself into the scientist's ear.

Priestly wheezed, pushing himself to his feet. His mind buzzed with questions, fear, and a stubborn thread of disbelief. “And I'm here because...?” he managed to choke out, his voice raw.

Valerian cocked his head with the same oddly warm smile from earlier, barely considering the question before he responded. “You were bored,” he said simply, as if that explained everything. “You wished for something more, didn’t you? Something beyond your mundane existence?”
Of course this was only his own excuse for bringing the human here; in reality, he himself had been quite lonely; he wanted what others around him had, and it was only coincidence or even fate that led him to Priestly.

The scientist blinked, caught off guard by the demon’s words. Hadn’t he just been complaining this morning about his job and his life? Each day was the same—a drag, a waste of his 'precious time' that stifled his potential, threatened his life, and... gave him a huge paycheque. That was it really; he had only stayed for the money, and now he was being offered nothing but maybe his life.

Valerian’s expression softened, a hint of something almost kind in his fiery eyes. “You’re not a prisoner, Priestly. Not really. Consider this... an opportunity.” He waved a hand, directing the scientist's attention to an expansive kingdom of factories, brutally efficient machinery towering over its residents and glimmering gold gates surrounding its centrepiece, a large manor that boasted large golden statues and intricate architecture.
"I know the extent of your capabilities, Priestly. Take a look at what I have already accomplished on my own. With your expertise... well."
The brunette demon slid a gold coin from the depths of his fur coat's inner pocket, flipping it with a tempting grin.

Priestly stared, the implications slowly sinking in. No more rules. No more mundane tasks. Just freedom in the strangest, most terrifying place imaginable. His heart pounded, not with fear but with a thrill he hadn’t felt in years.
Something about the alien landscape felt oddly homely, like he belonged there all along, but there was no time to dwell on the feeling with a demon looming over his shoulder, tempting him with inferred promises that his life would somehow improve in hell of all places.
Valerian watched him closely, a knowing smile tugging at his lips; he could practically see the thought process on the pale man's face.

“This is insane,” Priestly muttered, but there was no conviction in his voice. The thought of going back to his old life, to the monotony of his lab, felt unbearable in the face of this new, boundless opportunity. He never saw himself as a risk taker or thrill seeker, but when he looked back on his life, there was never a point that he wasn't in danger, and now was no different.
Of course he considered the fact this was all a trap, a reason for the demon to contain him there and exploit him for his knowledge, but how was that any different from what his employer had already been doing to him?
He wasn't a person on earth, but a tool.

Valerian stepped closer, his presence warm and oddly comforting despite the danger he radiated. “Stay,” he said, the word a soft command. “You might find you like it here.”
It was already difficult for someone like Priestly to understand people's intent, but suddenly things made sense to him; he understood and could analyse the demon easier than he could with any other fellow 'human'.

Of course, Priestly hesitated, torn between the safety of the familiar and the seductive lure of the unknown. But as he looked up at Valerian, standing there with a mix of mischief and genuine invitation in his eyes, Priestly realised he already knew his answer.